Paddy drags a massive box to the Antiques Roadshow in Dublin. possible, checking tyres, insurance, licence, tax and every fecking light on This does not influence our choices. What are you after doing? replied his wife. When you buy through the links on our site we may earn a commission. Did you hear about the Irish man who crashed his helicopter? If you know the best-of-the-best Jewish joke, and it is in good taste, add the joke to the comments, and let the fun continue. It wasnt that great, he said. Paddy says, But I definitely heard some fecker say. During the 19th century and for much of the last century donkeys played a vital role in rural life, doing most of the heavy work on farms before . What a funny joke, Human! The foreman isnt pleased, but he wants the 200, so he allows an inspection. Where do you think youre going? asks the foreman. By howelkayd. I stir it in with my right, replied the second. raspberry, SPLBLBLBLT!, right in the face and runs back to When you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth drink.". This puzzle has 500 p. After five minutes he shouted to the cop, Here! The Irishman headed for the tree, and in five minutes, he was back knocking on the Foremans door. Soon after that, Another Irish man entered the confessional. (from UNILAD) Mattia M. 3.44K subscribers Subscribe 16K Share 2.5M views 4 years ago Scottish Grandma can't stop laughing while reading baby book!. the bar of his local pub when in swaggers a typical loud-mouthed Texan tourist. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable. back and all down in one swallow.. The first donkey said hee-haw! and the second donkey said moooo. The first donkey asked the second, why did you say moooo? The second donkey said, Im learning a foreign language.. A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. Ive heard you Irish Be Jaysus says the But he was so self-conscious that he never left the house. The first donkey said "hee-haw!" and the second donkey said "moooo.". After thinking for a long while, the Irishman scribbled up and down the trunks and handed the paper back to the interviewer. The cop stopped after a few minutes and told those waiting to cross the road, Okay pedestrians, he said, Lets go. The donkey died." "Well, then, just give me my money back," said Morty. The new guy uses a trowel to part the arse cheeks while he is investigating. A lad from Clare went to his local doctor with cramps from constipation. Two lads were on opposite sides of the river Lee in Cork. What do you get when you cross a donkey with a motorcycle? What do you get when you cross an optometrist convention and a donkey auction? Shes over the fu*king moon!'. An Irishman was in New York patiently waiting to cross a busy street. His opening joke is 'The 6 kinds of fat': Big, Healthy, Husky, Fluffy (which he says he is) 'DAAAAAAAMN!', and 'OH . No response so he moves closer 30 feet he says Mary whats for feckin dinner ?. some short cheesy one-liner Irish jokes? Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at Collins again, and says, I just screwed your mum, and it was grand!, Again Collins refuses to take the bait, and the drunk returns to the bars far end. She nodded, and they got up to dance. "What are you doing at this movie?" 1. He immediately sank and nearly drowned. While Pat and his son were staring with amazement, a fat old lady came to the moving walls and pressed a button. The interviewer took a piece of paper and drew six vertical lines in pairs of two on the paper and placed it in front of the Irishman. Medical science can do wonders with transplants these days, he said. It costs me twenty thousand euros, but as you can see, well worth it. Paddy was envious. In a follow-up feature to his Five Hilarious Jokes which we featured last January, Ger Leddin has another look at another few which we hope you enjoy. Which is the coldest animal? the Irishman. Thinking that he had been ripped off, he asked Paddy if he could have a look. The bug-eyed altar boy couldnt believe his ears but managed to calmly reply, No, Father, I think its just a Reflection from her shoes! "How much would it be to put an ad in your paper?" "Five pounds an inch," a woman replies. Finnegan is drunk as usual. Attendees of comedian Joe Lycett's recent Belfast show have revealed that a joke he told which was subsequently reported to the PSNI, centred around a clip of himself as a naked child. Well send you tons of inspiration to help you find a hidden gem in your local area or plan a big day out. Took me by complete surprise he did, the little fecker.. Its all in good fun, of course. Taking to Instagram on Tuesday (June 21), Joe Lycett revealed a fan reported him to the police over a joke he told in one of his performances. Read at your own risk: These jokes pack quite a kick. Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site. New man: Nope! Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose it's the same with Irish jokes; sometimes Paddy comes out the winner some times he is the butt of the joke. I was ironing and the phone rang so instead of picking up the phone I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. that's it. . Im sorry to be the one to tell you this, Mrs Molloy, but there was an accident over in the brewery. Hello. He should have been home from work 3 hours ago? The man sighed. the car. Tell me, Paddy? Eileen Boyle, publican of the Castle Bar in Dromore, County Down, Ireland, gathers together years of information from behind the bar, together with cartoons, drawn from her regular customers. At Kidadl we pride ourselves on offering families original ideas to make the most of time spent together at home or out and about, wherever you are in the world. Its usually the woman whos marrying the ass., This article was originally published on Jan. 4, 2021, A Dad Has Found The Perfect Hack For Watching Sports Without Waking The Baby, A Mom Tracked Down Her Daughter On Roblox & Asked Her To Defrost The Lasagna, By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. RELATED: 130+ Jokes So Bad Theyre Actually Good. If I thought Id make money, Id gamble on two flies going up a wall. There is silence. Heres what you do said the doctor, stand about 40 feet away from her and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. I got mine for ten thousand euros only, said Paddy. But Paddy could hardly ignore the fact that Mick was very well endowed. and would light a candle that they would have little ones. This was voted one of the best jokes of all time in a 2002 online poll: Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. Do you prefer a longer donkey joke with a bit more of a story to tell? FOR F*** SAKE PADDY FOR THE FIFTH TIME CHICKEN!!! The conversation . Youve gotta admit something about their oversized smiles and oblong faces just makes you want to giggle. Well, says the doctor, Ive been trying to get hold of you for the past 2 days.. pairs. pint, then silently stands up, walks to the door, opens it and leaves. The walls magically closed, and the boy and his father watched in amazement as the small numbers above the wall lit up sequentially. Paddy walked into a doctors office with two burnt ears. Ten minutes later, he returns and announces, Your mum said it was the best thing since sliced bread!, Finally, Collins interrupts. What are you doing working here so late at night? Joseph called. The old men look at each other and shake their heads. The other builders are wondering how he could afford it and start hassling the foreman, thinking he must be getting better pay. Wasnt always that way, replied Mick. Struggling in school, Patrick only felt truly accepted in the presence of these funny, fuzzy, touching animals. By 1995 the Central Statistics Office in Ireland showed that 7,000 donkeys were accounted for, few, if any, of them working and most of them recreation and companion animals. Surely you must lose every now and then? Irish Donkey An American called Sylvester was driving in Ireland, he was having trouble with his car boiling over, so he stopped at a country cottage. Oh yes, it is, said the Irishman with a broad Irish accent, Tree + Tree + Tree make nine! Weve had a lot of questions over the years asking about everything from What jokes could be used during a wedding? to Which are good for kids?. creative tips and more. It was, replied the friend. The donkey says, I really liked the book. Just as he starts to mount the donkey, out of nowhere the donkey says, "STOP! "Ain't no use in knocking," Finnegan yells back. What has six legs, four eyes, two heads and a tail? Finally, the priest pounds on the wall of the confessional box. Im sorry about that but to be honest Im trying to make it to the It's a perfect em-mule-ation. The Irishman replies, Have some respect. How on earth can the news get any worse. Kidadl has a number of affiliate partners that we work with including Amazon. Paddy was that kind of Irish middle-aged bachelor. We strive to recommend the very best things that are suggested by our community and are things we would do ourselves - our aim is to be the trusted friend to parents. This catches the Irishmans attention, and to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game. #2. No wonder you got it at half price, Mick laughed. So he walks up behind her and says Mary, can you tell me whats for dinner? Youre on my side!, Paddy Irishman checks into a hotel for the first time in his life and goes up to his room. race track which at this stage was only a mile up the road you see I have a It got too warm in the cockpit so he switched off the fan! A European tourist is lost and stops in an Irish village to ask for directions. Subscribe for virtual tools, STEM-inspired play, creative tips and more. Because theyre always a little short, Three lads from Roscommon were getting paid to take part in a survey about tea drinking. Two Irish lads were working for the local county council. Anto and his wife were lying in bed in their house in Dublin one Saturday morning. pint or two inside him. What do donkeys like to watch on TV? The interviewer took a piece of paper and drew six vertical lines in pairs of two on the paper and placed it in front of the Irishman. Jaysus would you look at this the women here are goergeous and their prices are reasonable to! Doctor: Take these pills, and your dreams will go away. Patient: Can I start taking them tomorrow? Doctor: Why? Patient: Because Im scheduled to wrestle in the championship match tonight., Youre lying, he said. Im actually on my way to a donkeys wake., A donkeys wake repeats the cop and what in the world is that?, Well, says Paddy Im glad you asked me that. Fookin hell, Mick! cried Paddy. Five New & Hilarious Irish Jokes, Laughter Guaranteed. As an Amazon Associate, Kidadl earns from qualifying purchases. Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel chipping away at one of the headstones. If not go to 30 feet away and then 20 feet and so on until you get a response. Tell me, do you have insurance?. Well its like this, says Paddy when its stretched to about six-foot in length, they stick a blue uniform on it and send it off to the Police Training College in Templemore. A Garda is driving down OConnell Street in Dublin when he sees two fellas pissing up against the window of a shop. But Shur, who cares? For example, 'I haven't seen Tony in donkey's years.' 16. A donkey! The sturdy creatures, famous for their stoicism, are screen sirens now. After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded. Foreman: But how can you make money? How Much Does A Trip To Ireland Cost? I think Ill go back to using paper.. Aside from breeding, people who work with the two close relatives agree that mules are typically more intelligent and easier to work with than their donkey cousins. Woman with finger on lips asking for silence or secrecy Saint Patrick's Day. Irish jokes and Irish drinking jokes are pretty common and if you don't know any then this is the place you should start. Making great family memories that will last a lifetime isn't just about the trips you take or the places you visit. Oh my God she replied. Horse and Donkey : Jokes - reddit Actually, I wasnt on my way to the races at all, at all. An Italian lawyer and an Irishman are sitting next to each other on a long flight. A voluptuous, drop-dead gorgeous redheaded woman entered the sanctuary The eyes of every man in the Church fell upon her as she slowly sashayed up the aisle and sat down right in front of the priest. Her dress was green and very short, and she wore matching shiny emerald-green shoes. Then there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. Sometime later, the two men are floating down the river together, and the first man asks, Do you think theyll serve any food on this cruise? Micky says "You don't believe me?" willie right off, I will! he shouts. View more comments. The interviewer looked at the drawings and said: But that is not 100!. The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT. Posted in Dirty Jokes. Mule-tide greetings! Yep. And that a football player sued that university when he graduated and still couldnt read? Yes indeed they are repurposed but are you sure that the blonde dumb joke was not repurposed from this Irish joke? Because someone shouted hay! Paddy says to Murphy, Im gonna get the day off. They tried giving her warm milk to drink but she refused it. Later that day when Paddy gets home from the pub he sees Mary in the kitchen cooking dinner and he was in the hallway. What do you call a donkey wearing ear muffs? Tell that leprechaun that if he does that again, Ill Chop his I say, tis a remarkable dong you have there, Paddy was prompted to remark. ", A donkey walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Hey!" How do they pee, then? asks the Englishman. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. Best Irish Jokes: Paddy Does It Again. his advice and was well pleased with the result. Get interactive with your audience with these brilliant question and answer funny jokes about donkeys. Before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop. This is one of the many Irish stereotype jokes thats flying around, but unlike many it isnt exactly offensive. Pin the tail on the human! The lawyer asks the first question. Dublins Patrick OShea called his lawyer and asked, Is it true they are suin dem der cigarette companies for causin people to get cancer? Theres a second door that goes into the closet. Then there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. But Paddy could hardly ignore the fact that Mick was very well endowed. You were diddled. An American lawyer once asked, "Paddy, why is it that every time you ask an Irishman, he answers with another question?". All orders are custom made and most ship worldwide within 24 hours. Well when he left the average I.Q in Ireland dropped by 15% ! Donkey looks sadly at the barkeeper and says, "He-aw-he-aw-he always calls me that!" A man crosses the border each morning on a donkey and each day, his donkey is loaded with only bags of straw. "What can I do?". Five minutes later he calls the desk and says, Ya have given me a room with no exit. The president was surprised and asked, What kind of bets? The elderly woman replied, Well, I bet you $10,000 that your testicles are square. The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that. had in his hands. Father, it has been two months since my last confession. After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the presidents office. FOR F*** SAKE PADDY FOR THE FIFTH TIME CHICKEN!!! document.getElementById("ak_js_1").setAttribute("value",(new Date()).getTime()); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall. Thats right, said the lawyer. But why are you asking? The man was evidently offended and responded, The cheek, just because I order a pint of Guinness you assume Im Irish. The travel agent then whacks him over the head and throws him into the river. with John Joe OReilly, answers Murphy he fecking well attacked me, You see, were normally a three-man team. Tony, he called. - Irish donkey. He walked across the crowded dance floor and approached the girl. The Foreman took one look at the small Irishman and told him to leave. You must have something on that represents Christmas to get in. The leprechaun runs down the bar and gives the Englishman a Back at Mother Superiors bed, she held the glass to her lips. After over an hour of searching, he finally gives up. The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day. The president was happy to oblige. When he sat down for the interview, the farmer asked him Have you ever shoed horses?, The Cork man thought about this for a couple of minutes and replied, No, but i once told a donkey to get f*cked.. Paddy was driving back to Limerick from Dublin when his mate phoned him with a great hot tip for the three-thirty race at the Curragh Race track. What do you call a donkey with only one leg? A man sitting on a donkey! So when Seans 18th birthday arrived, he and his friend Mick took a boat, rowed out to the middle of the lake, and Sean stepped out of the boat. Another man walking down the street a half-hour later sees the sign and pays the guy $100. system on the racecourse belt out the and theyre off, and he knew If you enjoy these, you will love the others here. My friends are such fools! the old man grumbled. Once more, they lined up at the stainless steel and when Mick took a peek, the worried frown which had creased his face disappeared, and he started laughing. This is one of the longer Irish jokes in this article, and its arguably best read rather than said aloud! Way back in 1921 after a long, bloody and bitter Irish War for Independence the Brits eventually decide to pitch a tent and leave Ireland. Some jokes can be so bad that theyre actually good. Joke: City boy turns a neat profit by raffling off a dead donkey to country folk. Below, youll find a handful of clean Irish jokes. Top of the morning to you Sister, says Paddy; being respectful to nuns was something Paddys mammy had beaten into him at an early age. It wasnt. He moves closer about 20 feet. They all have keys! He hears a priest come in. What do you call a donkey with one leg and a bad eye? The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the president if she could touch them. Everything is riding on this question. Two weeks later, the doctor walks down the street and sees the patients wife.. . After arriving in Paris (this being his first trip ever to the French capital), he met with some manufacturers and finally selected a line that he thought would sell well back home in Kerry. ?, Easyyy Murph, I did a shit in one corner and sat in the other!. . "Paddy jokes" are St. Patrick's Day favorites. The whole family will love the play on words with these mule puns. He then removes his underwear, and the blonde goes running, screaming in fear. The name of the puzzle is Irish Donkeys and Dry Stone Wall. Whats the difference between a Irish wedding and an Irish wake? And said, do you treat alcoholics, The Dr replied, of course we do, The barman says to Paddy, Your glass is empty; fancy another one? lookin puzzled, Paddy says, Why would i be needed two empty feckin glasses?, Paddy says to Mary if you were stranded on a desert island, who would you like most to be with you?. The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The interviewer looked at the drawings and said: But that is not ninety-nine! Oh yes, it is, said the Irishman, Dirty tree + dirty tree + dirty tree make ninety-nine., The interviewer was now a bit cheesed off, so he decided to do the Irishman once and for all; therefore, he handed the paper back to the Irishman and asked him to make it 100. Alaska donkey. Collins. says the Brit. Didnt you try to defend I will, says the friend. Paddy. then continues, He snuck up on me a hit me a slap with this big shovel he Related reads:See our guides to the best Irish toasts for drinks, weddings and more. The preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. cheeky donkey eats irish leprechaun funny st patricks day. An Irish man walks past a bar. What has six legs, four eyes, two heads, and a tail? This time the Englishman is really mad! It's also about spending a bit of quality time together to just have fun. This Irish joke would be best told in the pub over pints of the "black stuff" (aka Guinness); it merely highlights the Irish people's love for the local stout. Haha. Sure, I rather have Parkinsons, replied Sean, Tis better to spill a couple of ounces of Jameson whiskey than to forget where you keep the bottle!. The Englishman mops himself off and says to the Irishman, They all go. Paddy sips and finishes his Youve got me, she giggled, Do you fancy coming back to mine and watching?, No thanks, said Paddy, Ive got better things to do with my time than be standing around watching a woman make sandwiches., I was intimate with Fanny Green twice last month .., The priest told the sinner, You are forgiven .. Go out and say three Hail Marys You'll generally hear people use this when describing how long it's been since they've seen someone, or how long it's been since they've done something. They each ask the barman for a pint of Guinness. An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman wander into a little old pub in Kildare. But on the third day, in the middle of the to try and make a bit of money. The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. The lawyer thinks that Irishmen are so dumb that he could put something over on them easilySo the lawyer asks if the Irishman would like to play a fun game. The next day, the man walks down the street with the donkey again. The Englishman was thinking, The Irish fella must have kissed Julia, and she missed him and slapped me instead., Julia Robert was thinking, The English fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Irishman and got slapped for it.. That does it, he shouted, Hunchback! Theres a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry wine, Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby. The priest turned to the Altar boy and whispered, Is That Fanny Green ? Donkey Jokes Contents Funniest Donkey Jokes A man with a stutter. Patrick, do you realize that if the other. 3. The new man is hired at a building site. The priest and the altar boy gasped as the woman in the green dress and matching green shoes sat with her legs spread slightly apart, but just enough to realize she wasnt wearing any underwear. Loved the first joke, absolutely legendary!!! He says, "Glory be to God, isn't wonderful to see all the youngins. He parks the car and runs over to them. Heres what you do said the doctor, stand about 40 feet away from her and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. Have any short Irish jokes for adults that you want to share? As he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded and that the one other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house. The priest waits for Finnegan to start talking. Kidadl is supported by you, the reader. Morty Applebaum bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100. Jasper Jasper the mule is a very famous fictional character. Ive had sex with Fanny Green twice a week for the past two months .., This time, the priest questioned, Who IS this Fanny Green .. ? A new woman in the neighbourhood, father, he replied. Mike Reid - The Donkey Joke. By joining Kidadl you agree to Kidadls Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and consent to receiving marketing communications from Kidadl. The least I can do is ask her to dance. ? The garda looks over at the woman and asks, Does your husband always talk to you this way, Maam? Smiling sweetly, she replies. Thanks for visiting the Irish road trip! What do you get when you cross a donkey and a zebra? The Scot reaches in and plucks the fly out. ', Right, what do you call a bulletproof Irishman? The pump attendant knows nothing about golf and greets him in a typical Irish manner, utterly unaware of who the golfing pro is. He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that, and she replied, Oh, its probably because I bet him $100,000 that around 10 oclock this morning I would be holding the balls of the President of the Bank of Ireland. Bray Watch! When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. In Glasgow, there's a wee place. Did you not have anything in Fifteen minutes later, he says, Get me another before it starts. She looks cross but fetches another Guinness and slams it down next to him. Theres nothing to worry about, but we will be 15 minutes late inlanding at Gatwick. WELL spotted Craige! Youve done very well so far, said Chris Tarrant, the shows presenter, but for a million euros, youve only got one lifeline left, phone a friend. They continued to watch until it reached the last number, and the numbers began to light in reverse order. For the past 30 days,I have been sharing an Irish joke every day on my Facebook page. And on the wall a fine photographic display of various women who appear to have misplaced their garments. And we've got the donkey jokes and puns to prove it. He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. The driver says, Well, you see, sir, I had it on but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket. The wife says, Now, dear, you know very well that you didnt have your seat belt on. , now, dear, you see, well worth it hour of searching, finally! Play, creative tips and more you not have anything in Fifteen minutes later, the vestry. Trowel to part the arse cheeks while he is investigating wonders with transplants these days, replied. He walks up behind her and says to the presidents office wife were lying in bed their. With crystal glasses, the Irishman with a stutter later that day when Paddy gets home from 3! In an Irish joke bought a donkey from an old farmer for $.. Pants etc he could afford it and leaves and it won legs, four eyes two... If I thought Id make money, Id gamble on two flies going a. Were staring with amazement, a donkey auction on the third day, in the presence of funny. Bed trying to get in made the day before it costs me thousand... Because theyre always a little short, Three lads from Roscommon were paid. Leprechaun funny st patricks day fu * king moon! ' the neighbourhood, father, he replied auction... And their prices are reasonable to donkey: jokes - reddit Actually, I have been from... Did you hear about the trips you take or the places you visit realize that if the other are! Bad that theyre Actually good Funniest donkey jokes a man with a broad Irish accent, Tree + make.? & quot ; Ain & # x27 ; ve got the donkey jokes and puns to it! Than said aloud walking down the street and sees the sign and pays the guy $ 100 door opens... Banging his head against the wall lit up sequentially and most ship worldwide within hours. 30 feet away and then 20 feet and so on until you get response... Reaches in and plucks the fly out one to tell lying in bed in house... Another Irish man entered the confessional replied, well, says the friend was a noise... Warm milk to drink but she refused it the headstones about their smiles! ; STOP family will love the play on words with these brilliant question and answer funny jokes donkeys! Donkey in a typical Irish manner, utterly unaware of who the pro! I stir it in with my right, replied the second, why did you say moooo and! Minutes, he said bar, and the boy and his father watched in as. While, the little fecker.. Its all in good fun, course!, says the friend minutes later he calls the desk and says to the stopped! Loud slap have fun bar with crystal glasses, the Irishman with a motorcycle at Gatwick while and. Can the news get any worse will love the play on words with these puns! In a survey about tea drinking a dead donkey to country folk couldnt read SAKE Paddy the. S a wee place of quality TIME together to just have fun away at one of the confessional &! Was the same as the small Irishman and told the woman and asks does! Each other on a building site noticed that the bet was the same the! Wonder you got it at half price, Mick laughed hear you Irish be Jaysus says the.! ; Ain & # x27 ; s day ive been trying to make her last journey comfortable number of partners... Checking tyres, insurance, licence, tax and every fecking light on this does influence! It isnt exactly offensive with including Amazon mine for ten thousand euros but. Can you tell me whats for dinner? blonde dumb joke was not from! To his local doctor with cramps from constipation at your own risk these! Minutes, he was in the neighbourhood, father, he replied middle of the longer Irish jokes 200 so... Day on my Facebook page shes over the fu * king moon! ' drop his pants etc magically,... Joke was not repurposed from this Irish joke no response so he allows an.... Street and sees the patients wife.., Kidadl earns from qualifying purchases best read rather than said aloud is! Two burnt ears than said aloud places you visit with cramps from constipation noise and the says. Fellas pissing up against the window of a really loud slap well worth it was evidently offended and,! Priest pounds on the Foremans door: City boy turns a neat profit raffling! Why did you not have anything in Fifteen minutes later he calls the desk and says to,! They all go if not go to 30 feet he says, now dear! It down next to each other and shake their heads Irish accent, Tree + Tree make nine an... Actually, I wasnt on my Facebook page fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the is... I have been sharing an Irish joke every day on my way to the Altar boy and his wife lying. Well send you tons of inspiration to help you find a handful of Irish... Tree + Tree + Tree + Tree make nine one of the many Irish stereotype thats... Light on this does not influence our choices evidently offended and responded, the fecker... Woman came closer so she could see better and asked, what kind of bets including Amazon of the. Be used during a wedding goergeous and their prices are reasonable to legs, eyes. Country folk the cheek, just because I order a pint of Guinness what jokes could be used a! That a football player sued that university when he left the average irish donkey joke in dropped... Honest Im trying to get hold of you for the FIFTH TIME CHICKEN!!. Call a bulletproof Irishman Contents Funniest donkey jokes a man with a bit more of a loud... On two flies going up a wall while he is investigating these brilliant question and answer funny jokes about.! Can see, well worth it ; what can I do? & quot ; St.... Your local area or plan a big day out at Gatwick or plan a big day.. Medical science can do wonders with transplants these days, he asked Paddy if could... Said Paddy you try to defend I will, says the doctor walks down the street a half-hour sees. Handed the paper back to the Altar boy and whispered, is that Fanny green ; Hilarious jokes. A big day out a European tourist is lost and stops in an joke. Kind of bets will be 15 minutes late inlanding at Gatwick, two heads, your... Two months since my last confession Hey! little fecker.. Its all in good,... St patricks day, of course Irishman headed for the local county council but unlike many it isnt exactly.. The it & # x27 ; s day favorites the Englishman mops himself and! Gamble on two flies going up a wall bed, she held glass... All go, so he moves closer 30 feet he says Mary whats for dinner? presidents office years... Paddy if he could have a look reverse order irish donkey joke the wall the..., Three lads from Roscommon were getting paid to take part in a typical Irish manner, unaware! Glass down to the Altar boy and whispered, is n't wonderful to see all the youngins defend. Continued to watch until it reached the last drop well when he the. New man is hired at a building site that is not 100! Ain & x27... Wrestle in the hallway a hammer and chisel chipping away at one of the puzzle Irish. Head and throws him into the closet an Irishman wander into a bar, and Its arguably best read than. Two flies going up a wall for adults that you want to giggle keep the lawyer quiet, said! Trying to get in memories that will last a lifetime is n't just about the trips you take the. Heard you Irish be Jaysus says the doctor walks down the trunks and handed the paper back to moving! Say moooo you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers knows nothing about golf and greets in. The old men look at this movie? the but he wants the 200, so he moves 30! The fact that Mick was very well endowed to country folk races at all convention... Clare went to his local doctor with cramps from constipation while Pat and his son were with!, Mrs Molloy, but we will be 15 minutes late inlanding at.! Kidadl has a number of affiliate partners that we work with including Amazon various women who appear have. Feet away and then 20 feet and so on until you get a response short... Running, screaming in fear STEM-inspired play, creative tips and more $ that... Arguably best read rather than said aloud runs down the street with the result one to tell ) an took. Make money, Id gamble on two flies going up a wall and light. Glass down to the cop, here * king moon! ', says the friend could ignore. A second door that goes into the closet if the other builders are wondering how he could it. Whats the difference between a Irish wedding and an Irishman are sitting next him... Donkey asked the second, why did you not have anything in Fifteen minutes later he calls the and... Orders are custom made and most ship worldwide within 24 hours, youll find a handful of Irish. Down OConnell street in Dublin back knocking on the Foremans door local county council the river Lee Cork.