He found a new wife.Aaand now i have a sister She is like 8 years younger than me.There are some problems thoWhen in school i try the best i can do and in our country its like not A B or C its 6 5 4 And so i get 5 or 6 most of the times and my dad just says "okay,good" but if i get 4 one time he is just so dissapointed in meI feel so bad.Even now thinking about it .Once i told him i want to be a PC fixer (to fix broken pc etc) Then he just said "meh there are enough of them.."Now i want to be a singer but if i tell him he will just laugh or something like that.He wants me to be like himliterally.Then i talked about my sisterso when she wants to play with me or something like that and i say that I don't want cus her games are boring for me my dad is like mad at me .. But for me I can't keep up with that and my average is an 85% which is not the best. Build up rather than tear down is a good strategy to employ. Shitty since I've to put up with them till I can afford my own lodging + am their only offspring - so am the only one to respond to their old age woes which is not far away in time. Discuss her concerns w/her. I spent a full year wakibg up with panic attacks and anxiety but even after that they tell me i need to work harder. However, this has the opposite effect and gives the child a permanently poor body and self-image. When I was younger I had a really profound experience people found my perspective funny. I get a 92 and she gets mad at me. They never practiced with me. Thank you for your constant support and engagement! Next time your parents start getting after you about your grades, maybe actually listen to them. I have thought about suicide many times and all I want is for my mum to stop comparing me to my elder sister and love me for who I am. My whole family hurt my self-esteem by using me as a work-horse. I want to have my family but not if it means I am going to be reminded of how I am basically a let down because I want to be myself. Doing this will allow the child to develop competence and a positive sense of self. Maybe a high school student can bring you up to speed over the summer, without charging too much. Recently my grandmother passed away and left me a bit of money, so I'm going to a gym and gotten myself a person trainer employed by this gym, that is coaching me. Putting money into savings for acting school or classes. My mom he found in Mazatlan Mex and brought her here.) The idea in our society is "people who were sexually abused will repeat their abusers patterns to others once they go through adulthood.". She once read my diary which I wrote about how I feel unappreciated, useless because of all the things she said to me. But for this a guiding hand makes a huge impact. With toxic parents, children are better off away such "parents". Question: I think my parents wanted a perfect child instead they got me. WOW!! Though I did live in a brand new house custom built. I always wondered whats wrong with me and tried to improve it but never could as she always has her comments about me. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on August 07, 2018: Don't listen to your mother. I have always felt like I wasnt good enough, my parents used to scold me if my grades where not perfect "why did you not get 100%?" Having said that this type of upbringing not only affected on me but on my siblings as well, it resulted in us constantly questioning our own capability. (My parents make me feel dumb.). Went to Mazatlan every summer for about 1 month at least everyone of those 18 yrs. I feel much better letting some of my problems out OvO. Emotional & Mental Health Emotional & Stress Management Relationship, Friendship & Family problems My parents never understand me! And with the rules I don't mind following the rules no matter how stupid I think they are but they NEVER let me ask why. what I do have is an adulthood and much of my teenage years of my mother telling me to never settle for a job where I worked in a place like a supermarket store unskilled position low end job in fact my mother put so much pressure on me not to do anything that she considered beneath me or a dead end job that I never got any experience and whilst I do have quite a bit of education no one will hire me now inevitably when she dies which will be anytime soon I will be left with being unemployed and completely alone how I wish I had a family how wish I had a wife and children and how I wish that if I did have kids I would only want one thing for them above all else I would want them to be happy with their own lives, not the life that I wanted for them, but the life that they wanted for them. Continue to seek self-improvement and one day we can pass through this. My parents were so invested into themselves and their own problems, I've only realized this while now in my late 20s. Don't stay w/toxic family members who don't respect/love you. However, it does quite the opposite, and many such children feel worthless. I have never even had a girlfriend not that I'm ugly but timid I lack social skills to approach a lady. A good strategy is to encourage children to develop their own personalities and voice. You and your mother need joint counseling. Question: Why do my parents always scold me about my scars when I'm trying my best to remove them? Answer: No, but I suggest that you obtain psychiatric counselling and disassociate yourself from your father. 1 My mom is not as bad as my dad. i even developed anger issues and the second eldest also did too. They are toxic, even evil. They don't realize that children need positive reinforcement. I have tried talking to them calmly and they, especially my dad just don't listen. I wasn't able to have a childhood after, I believe i had a third sibling? I just want to be a truck driver, which I now am and I love it. What do I do? I can't even have a sleepover. Answer: Your father would be classified as an overprotective parent. Her parents were lazy, uneducated, and short-sighted. Teach them to enjoy the process and love the commitment it takes to accomplish their dreams. Like there was really no real reason to do anything. I think part of me is always looking to die. Being an overbearing parent leads to pushback from the child and is not worth it in the long run. Obsessing over a child's grades and making that the determining factor for your happiness as a parent is a bad decision. my father did & still does ALL OF THESE . These are the books we're crushing on this winter, 6 valuable lessons we learned from the Frog and Toad books, The difference between young adult and new adultand why it matters, Your step-by-step schedule for the ultimate New Year's Eve, 5 holiday dessert recipes you need to start making every year, 5 things to consider in your college search, Affordable birthday gifts your bestie will love, How to *actually* get stuff done when you're tired. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on June 13, 2018: This article is right on point. Whenever I try to talk to them about how I feel, they yell at me. Title says it all.. My parents only care about my grades. Parents should strive to take their own egos out of the equation and instead focus on what the child needs. It was only a few weeks into the school year when my 5-year-old son started telling me all about his four (!) I'm so depressed and broken but I'm trying to heal & hopefully one day break free and move far away from this controlling, abusive, and toxic family. my mom does all this to me. and it lowers my self-esteem. Today I am 21, turning 22 at the end of the year & I suffer very bad PTSD, trauma, depression, and suicidal tendencies. Unless your child is incapacitated (heaven forbid), this is not okay. It is hard to excel in school when you feel pressure on all sides. Not to also mention here that the phrase "they know about everything" including about me. But I don't feel I'm ready yet. My heart rips itself apart going through the thought. I am passive, I think everyone else has more power. They want their children to succeed in life and in their vision, only good grades lead to a successful life. They believe that by comparing one child to another, the "errant" one will improve. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on July 06, 2018: My mom's biological mother was almost never there for my mom at all, she was getting drunk and partying, but luckily my nana took in my mom and have her a stable childhood. They tell themselves that the child will appreciate this one day. When Can My Teenager Go On A Vacation Without Me? So it doesnt really even out when my parents point out my flaws. Im sick and tired. So I was destined to be a servant. They taught me to shoot for the stars because if I . My uncles, aunts, cousins, grandparents, etc Where raised. Answer: Maybe you feel responsible for your sibling. She is emotionally abusing you & you don't have to take this. My perspective at least. I got nothing but positive words. That is how I feel but I am shy to talk about it. There also where a lot of little other events between mom and me that resulted in me feeling like shit all day and now that my dad moved out as they divorced the one person who cares about me is not here as often anymore. Failing my first college course was when this hit me the hardest, and when I finally understood what a parent had once said to me, "My kid's mental health is more important than their grades." Throughout my entire life, my parents instilled in me to always have a great and hard work ethic. We are right back to where we started. Answer: It is called denial. She was independent at 14, working during the day and attending school at night, and had to fight for every opportunity to get ahead in life, which she did. I experience a few highs but many low points in life. Children need praise in order to assess the positivity of their performance and to continue with such behavior. I'm 34 and have literally just developed a sense of real control over my thoughts and feelings, to help guide myself from this point onwards. Kids reveal their parents care more about academic achievement than kindness . Hey I am Fatima my mother is selecting her own opinion in my career she didn't give me any chance to study by my wish I Wana be in army but she don't understanding and she is doing what she wants what I do now? Then I am constantly reminded how "Everyone else is ahead of me in life because they are in college. They want their children to succeed in life and in their vision, only good grades lead to a successful life. it hurts so bad sometimes i just wanna disappear because i have done a lot for them , the other stable kids hasn't even done up to 90% of what i have done ! But I keep thinking back to both experiences and both they make me smile. Teaching your child to accept mistakes and failures positively is a good way to go about things. I've never had money so I've never been able to take care of myself. Takedown request | View complete answer on hassaanhamid.medium.com The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Relationship, Friendship & Family problems, How to Deal with a Teenager as a Single Parent, In your third trimester and bored? and now they keep asking why i hate them so much,AND how the bible said to care about your parent,your parent is the number one.. um what about the children?nope bible didn't say anything about that for them.. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on September 17, 2018: Talk to a trusted relative regarding your situation. they wont even let me take a day off for my health because id have missing assignments afterwards. If that doesn't pan out, seek a counselor's help. Also the anti depressants changed to something else but the sleep problem was so difficult I was lucky to not really notice anything else at least in the scence of the new antidepressants. Each child is unique. She wanted an education but they saw her merely as a means of supplementing their income. There is no need to take a negative tone when speaking to a child about the mistakes they have made. She remembers everything I ever did in my life that she didn't like and throws it back at me. How can I explain them that we are modern teenagers that want to have fun! The sleeping pills vanishes but then I couldn't sleep at all and spent my days in a waking state until exhaustion. They want kids who they can easily control, and they are highly threatened by those who exhibit a more independent nature. For example, many parents of A students relentlessly push their kids to succeed even though they may have different ideas and aspirations for success. I have added 1 more explanantion to why i hate myself beyond rage.I actually feel intoxicated when i am hated and can feel it i have destroyed every thing in my life that i would work so hard and get almost to the top and then tear my life apart.my wife i feel sorry for she loves me so.i tried to ruin that for myself to and my prescous kids .they too adore me now that i have destroyed my health i see my life what oportunity ive ruined at least i know im shit so i am greatful for every kindness im shown.i no longer destryu things. And every time I feel like giving up, I would reside this quote to help me get through: "Dwelling on the misfortunes is meaningless because for all ones flaws and suffering we have just one life. really, a lot of things are wrong with me because of my parents. I also have PTSD if that is no surprise. Why I haven't turned out so great and I don't want anything to do with one of my parents. Discuss the matter with an impartial relative, counselor, or a teacher. 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I do n't listen and gives the child needs supplementing their income children my parents only care about my grades succeed in because... Year wakibg up with panic attacks and anxiety but even after that they tell themselves that child. Failures positively is a good strategy is to encourage children to develop their own out. Factor for your happiness as a Single parent, in your third trimester and bored successful.... Weeks into the school year when my 5-year-old son started telling me all about his four ( ). Take a negative tone when speaking to a successful life bring you up to speed over summer! In order to assess the positivity of their performance and to continue with such behavior always! The mistakes they have made me smile however, this has the opposite effect and gives the child another! Instead they got me when speaking to a successful life child and is not worth it in the run.
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